10 Top Tips for coping with ADHD as an adult.

Exercise daily; exercise helps to decrease excess energy and helps with concentration and improves the ability to focus. It helps ease depression and anxiety.

Accept that you have ADHD but still need to find ways of managing it – society is not always very forgiving!

Find a peer group that accepts you.

Find time to relax and learn to breathe

Create a list of things to do, prioritise or get help prioritising. Restrict self to work down the list in order to avoid becoming overwhelmed

Set time limits for jobs that you undertake, if sense of time is unreliable, use a timer to assist

Break down or have your tasks broken down into small steps. Too much information can be too much

Use technology to organise your day. Set reminders

Learn about ADHD, understanding it can help you accept it and use certain traits to your advantage

Learn to meditate – anyone can do this , it just takes practice. White noise has also been found to be relaxing. Find something that suits you!

Resources on the Internet

Adoption Support Fund UK

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) – NHS.UK

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) – NHS.UK

SEND Code of Practice- British Dyslexia Association

SEND Code of Practice: a summary | The Key for School Leaders
https://schoolleaders.thekeysupport.com › … › Managing SEN provision

Contact Information for other Organisations

Adoption Matters

Attachment Aware Schools


IPSEA ( Independent Parental Special Education Support)


The Attachment & Trauma Network – ATN

The Bowlby centre

Psychotherapy training centre

The National Autistic Society | – NAS

Young Minds

I really must take care of myself….

I have always been told, in a somewhat patronising manner, that I need to take care of myself. I am a parent of a young man who is now 15 who we adopted at the age of 2 1/2. Everyone believes that this is young and therefore how traumatised can a child be?

The reality is very different, to the extent that I wrote a book about him! I wrote ‘Loving Eric, a personal a story about Adoption, Attachment, Autism & ADHD.’ to help others learn from our world, educate professionals and help other parents feel less alone. I wrote it because things had improved for our son but recent weeks have proven once again, that with a child this complex the road ahead is always bumpy.

Attachment and Autism can present in similar ways. Where one ends and the other begins for our son, I may never truly know. Essentially, for young people such as these, change is bad, it is scary. Since starting into the educational system,the pattern for us has been that by the summer term of every year, Eric has just about adjusted to the change in school years. He is normally more mellow, able to engage and learn. Hope is born. Summer holidays are normally calm (ish), but a few weeks before the September return to school the anxiety begins to build.

This year I was lulled into a false sense of security, the normal obstacles of a new term were navigated well, until they weren’t! The last few weeks have been like groundhog day. Constant emails back and forth to school, constant skirmishes with other students, all too frequently ending up with Eric coming off worse on many levels, including being hit. This leads onto fear of going to school and thus a spike in anxiety. The anxiety triggers the ‘autistic’ thinking, trapping Eric in a loop of repetitive behaviour, that sadly results in exactly the same outcome, that of feeling isolated, lonely and eradicating his already low self esteem.

A lovely girl I know well described this ‘autistic thinking’ as being in a concrete room, with no way out, no door, and the walls are just getting closer together, squashing her in their rigidity. This analogy has helped me understand how impossible it feels for the trapped individual. We, the ones not in the concrete box must therefore help them to find their own way out, we must drill through the concrete to build them a door, shore up the walls to prevent them from bearing down on them.

Constructing a door for Eric means that I have to try and enter his world. Why is he spiralling? Why does he feel unsafe? How can we put things in place to make him feel that he can escape the confines that his complexity has created for him? This involves negotiation with school, exploring the behaviours, being curious, because the behaviours are his means of communication.

Recently I have witnessed adults without additional needs, facing major change at work and they equally have not coped well. They are wanting to leave, walk away, refuse to do as they are asked by those in charge. They protest, they moan, they kick against their world. Perhaps my son is not acting that differently to them in many respects, but lacks their subtlety when he tells us how he feels. The main difference being that they are adults and can be self determining. They can seek new jobs. Eric must stay in full tim education until he is 18, he cannot change his situational reality. The only thing he can change is his outlook, develop new coping strategies, become less ‘Eric’. Easily said, dauntingly hard to manage.

However, that being said, for me the parent, and many others like me, it is an exhausting, relentless process. I am the target of the anger most of the time but I am also the key. The spiral down tires me out, makes feel a sense of panic about his future, I catastrophise and fail to see that this too shall pass. Things will improve but not without intervention.

So, getting back to my initial comment, I must now take care of myself in order that I can take care of my son and my family. I need to reflect on what makes me feel good about myself and be more creative. I need to relax my shoulders because they are currently residing up near to my ears….now, any ideas anyone ??


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